System Update: April 16th – April 22nd
THIS WEEKS NOOZ.
Continuing To Answer The Call.
This is not so much news these days, so much as it is confirmation of something everybody knew was already going to happen, but sure enough the next installment in the ‘Call Of Duty’ series is posted for an international reveal on May 1st. Call Of Duty decked out their Facebook Page with a cover photo publicizing the huge reveal over a blurred photo of what one can assume is the character/cover of the next addition to the billion dollar series. Similarly, the official Call Of Duty website is themed in a similar fashion, showing nothing but the same image from Facebook. A countdown timer and a video from FPSRussia featuring a Prototype Quadrotor with Machine Gun and Recon capabilities which is almost assured to be a Killstreak in the upcoming title. No other details as yet, but come May 1st, check out Respawn In 10 for everything known about the next Call Of Duty.
There’s A Crysis On Our Hands!
As reported in last week’s System Update, we were eagerly awaiting the debut trailer for the conclusion of the Crysis trilogy and sure enough, EA and CryTek did not disappoint. Yesterday, Crysis uploaded their first official trailer for the game, needless to say showcasing story, gameplay and Prophet looking like a total badass with his new bow. It looks incredible. The trailer gives quite a decent look into the style of game CryTek are trying to mould here but of course, E3 will tell us more in June.
GoW? Yeah God Of War Did It First, Gears.
It’s been a while since Kratos covered our screens with the blood of whoever is within the vicinity of his Blades Of Chaos and it seems he shall be joining us once again in ‘God Of War: Ascension’. The teaser trailer depicts a time before the senseless killing and over the top violence that the next GoW sets itself in… Wait, God Of War without senseless killing and over the top violence? How can they even call it God Of War!? But seriously kids, don’t worry, I’m sure there’ll be enough blood to fill Madison Square Garden so just hold off on that massacre… For now.
New New Super Mario Bros!
In the spirit of stupidly named sequels of games from Japan we now have New Super Mario Bros. 2 on the horizon for the 3DS. Unless you can speak fluent Japanese the announcement from Satoru Iwata won’t be of much use to you. However, until we wait for an English trailer, there are a few screenshots of the game in this announcement that you can all go over with a fine tooth comb. The most notable of which was Mario flying along, with his Raccoon Tail soaring valiantly back into the series. Yep, that’s right P.E.T.A. you and your claims that this and the Tanookie suit is implying cruelty to animals can fuck right off because lets face it… Mario comes from Japan… I’m pretty sure the whole Whaling thing is a tad more serious.
For more regular updates follow me on Twitter and stay tuned to Respawn In 10 for details on the Call Of Duty announcement and my upcoming review of The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition!
System Update: April 9th – April 15th
THIS WEEKS NOOZ
Master Chief Decides When To Emerge From Cryogenic Sleep.
How good of the worlds most beloved super solider to come to us right before Christmas. That’s right, Halo 4 will hit shelves on November 6th. The first installment of the insanely popular series not to be made by Bungie set itself up for an announcement by noon yesterday shortly before it’s feature on the Conan O’Brien show; the footage from that segment can be seen on IGN. With Black Ops 2 expected to release in the same month, I’m sure I’m not the only one who can say my wallet cannot withstand another November like last years…
Crysis 3 Announced By Accident!.. Then Properly.
Leaked by accident and then quickly officially confirmed by EA, the futuristic, computer killer FPS Crysis has confirmed itself as a trilogy. Screenshots, Pre-Order bonuses, and some sexy video of the CryENGINE 3 are now available to cook graphics cards on the Crysis 3 Website. Short of the screen shots, not much is known about the game other than the obvious. You again play as Prophet, who again is determined to shit all over the CELL while avoid being shit on by the Ceyph, but this time you get a bow and arrow, the obvious pinnacle of future weaponry. The game is slated for a 1st quarter 2013 release which coincides with it’s predecessors release the same time last year.
Share Your Energy With DBZ On Kinect!
It appears Dragon Ball Z may have found it’s perfect game setting with Dragon Ball Z for Kinect announced earlier this week. A full achievement list on Xbox360Achievements details that the player will be able to play through the Saiyan, Frieza, Android and Majin sagas in both a campaign and score attack mode. Every major fight within these sagas and users will be able to charge Ki, dodge, deflect and of course unleash their own super attacks from an array of characters from the beloved universe. The game is due to release before Christmas… But they said the same thing about Star Wars and that launched two weeks ago.
ポケモンブラック＆ホワイト2は、トレーラーと日付を取得します！
Yep, that’s right, Pokemon Black and White 2 got their first trailer but sure enough, the entire thing is in Japanese. Despite the 3 minutes of what may as well have been white noise the trailer does show the games Japanese release date, that of the 23rd of June. No official news on the games Western release plan but one can speculate that it will follow within a month of the launch in Japan.
As always follow my Twitter for more frequent updates and stay tuned for my review of The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition on Respawn In 10!
Preview: Sniper Elite V2 – Demo Impressions
Needless to say, when I heard about a WWII shooter making the jump from Wii to Xbox 360 and PS3 I had about as much faith in the quality of the game as an Atheist does in the existence of God. However, what I can say is that after playing the demo of the upcoming third person shooter that is Sniper Elite V2, I am pleasantly surprised and slightly aroused by the prospect of this underrated gem. You see, if I were to name a genre of games I excel at (with ‘All’ not being a possible option), I would definitely say shooters. And in this hit and miss genre of games with covers featuring an armed man walking slowly towards me, sniping is my speciality. Thus when my demo finished downloading I arrogantly selected the ‘Sniper Elite’ difficulty setting, and set out to quickly find that my 4.5 Sniping Kill/Death ratio was about as far removed as an accurate representation of my sniping skills as I am from attractive single women. Before I start psychotically entering into the guts of the demo I would like all Battlefield 3 fanboys to fuck right off because a slight bullet drop-off, believe it or not, doesn’t amount to the game being realistic… Just moreso than Call Of Duty.
The demo sets you in war-torn Europe on the hunt for German Dr. Oktoberfest (I forgot his name but it was really German). You are to clear a couple of streets worth of run-of-the-mill Nazis, plant explosive charges and blow the good Doctor’s convoy sky high before you pick him out of the flaming wreckage. The setting is quite generic but understandable for a demo, as showcasing a unique mission subtracts from the quality of the gameplay, which is where Sniper Elite shines. Let me assure you if you don’t know how to pull of a head shot this game will be mercilessly unforgiving to you. The weapons featured in the demo (The Springfield Sniper Rifle, the M1 Thompson Sub-Machine Gun and the Welrod Silenced Pistol) are historically accurate in that they are all a piece of shit, the sniper takes 2-3 body shots to fully down an enemy, the pistol takes a long and painstakingly tense second in between shots and the Thompson may as well be shooting toothpicks. It’s that fucking useless. So unless you have the capability to headshot every man, woman, child, family pet and potted plant in the world of Sniper Elite V2 you may as well start stretching your jaw now for the inevitable tea-bagging you will receive come the game’s release on May 10th.
The demo is playable in 3 difficulty settings, Call Of Duty mode ensures a straight, narrow and insta-kill bullet to part from your weapon on an unwavering flight-path from where you shot from to the sun; Battlefield mode ensures your bullet will inevitably be affected by gravity at some point, and Sniper Elite mode which requires you to account for more changes in wind, gravity and climate than the Department Of Meteorology. This level of strategy is great for a challenge, and when coupled with the game’s Max Payne meets Mortal Kombat ‘follow the bullet’s flight path from the gun and through the bones/squishy bits of every enemy in the demo in the most awesome way possible’ style, it ultimately serves for an immersive and satisfying experience. Despite this great feature of the series the best part is the game’s grading system. For every kill you make you are given a numerical score based on the distance, where you hit the target, the stance/movement of the target, the amount of bullets it required you to kill the target and, of course, the inevitable headshot bonus. Given the amount you need to take into account, such as your character’s heart rate, surroundings, timing your shot to be muffled by explosions and the path of the bullet, this arcade style of scoring offers a lot of replayability and will almost certainly be coupled with leaderboards to offer quite a refreshing shooter experience.
Sure, the colour scheme is quite bland and the character movement/cover system could use a fair bit of polish, but this game is still in demo stage. And for a game that I was getting geared up to poop on for being conceived on the inbred, spastic shut-in that is the Nintendo Wii I’ve played through the demo 3 times and am seriously contemplating purchasing this game on release. You can catch the trailer here, and the demo is currently available on all systems. If they can pack enough variety into this game, Rebellion will kick some serious ass and turn some serious heads with Sniper Elite V2, because it’s already kicked Gears Of War off the podium for the game that is most satisfying to headshot an enemy in. Look for my full review shortly after the game’s release on May 10th.
System Update: April 2nd – April 8th
This week’s System Update is kinda half-assed because as I am sitting in my room surrounded by roughly 200 games, as opposed to a lecture theatre with the same number of bored 18 year olds. I’m finding it a lot harder to concentrate on writing. Yet I digress…
THIS WEEKS NOOZ.
Halo’s ‘Infinity’ And ‘Spartan Ops’ Revealed
So it seems even the mighty Halo is taking a page from Call Of Duty’s book. Which is made entirely of 100 dollar bills and kerosene. With an all new 4 player mission based co-op campaign known as ‘Spartan Ops,’ as well as a revamped multiplayer dubbed ‘Halo Infinity’. Via a thread on NeoGAF, which has a compilation of everything there currently is to know on Halo 4, including the setting, multiplayer load outs, and even as to why it’s Red vs Blue in multiplayer. The most notable features of the new game’s multiplayer is the addition of being able to sprint, as a universal ability. Call Of Duty like class systems, and THANK GOD, y0u will now be able to join a game in progress. It amazes me that the Halo universe could traverse deep space in a heartbeat and yet the most advanced combat soldiers humanity had to offer couldn’t even move at a light jog; however, with what’s been revealed so far, 343’s continuation of the Xbox exclusive is very promising.
An ‘Incognito’ Peek At Assassin’s Creed 3
Via a sneaky pick-pocket from PAX East this year, GameFreaks have revealed a number of screenshots from Assassin’s Creed 3’s All-American campaign. The images reveal the games HUD, as well as a couple of the battlegrounds featured in the games Colonial American setting. It’s not much, but what it does show is that the games new Anvil Engine looks stunning.
PAX Packs A Punch
E3’s try-hard little brother PAX East wrapped up this weekend with a lot to show for it’s try hard efforts. The Escapist getting their hands on almost every upcoming title under the sun with VentureBeat foaming over the new free to play FPSMMORPG (Yes it does need that many letters.) ‘FireFall’. Aliens: Colonial Marines however, seeming to be the fan favourite in show with several tweets gushing about it’s ‘fantastic’ multiplayer demo and the surprise disappointment being Far Cry 3’s supposed under performing multiplayer. However, this is the annoying little brother of E3, so more concrete and refined demo’s of PAX’s previewed titles will be available for regrading in the coming months.
For more regular news updates, follow me on Twitter, and I have recently made a YouTube Account where I will be debuting my channel with an unboxing of The Witcher 2’s ‘Dark Edition’. The video will also be available on Respawn In 10 and a link will be available on my Twitter so stay tuned to… At least one part of the ever expanding Respawn In 10 network!
JayRated Reviews: Angry Birds Space
If there’s one thing I hate more than the phrase “It’s just a game.” it would have to be the watery discharge seeping down the inside of society’s leg known only as ‘casual games’. I’ve always thought the human race could use a good culling and I think the mindless drones who swarm over casual games are a good place to start. Nothing shows an incessent lack of creativity, spark, originality and flair than a game that’s core mechanic is flicking paper into a bin. However, the shit-smeared shinning examle of this ever spreading plague of casual games that really does make me want to hop in the local clocktower with a fully loaded semi-automatic and a fully removed sense of compassion for human life is Angry Birds.The formula of angling a pissed pidgeon through the air into something that resembles a pig only in name is suicidally repetitive is bad enough. Yet couple this with the fact that this game now essentially has it’s own religion and it continues to reassure my belief that any social interaction with these gelationous creatures creatively deemed ‘casual gamers’ can only be deemed beneficial with the addition of a 12 gague shotgun and thus should be kept to a strict minimum.
Unless you’re missing the majority of your frontal lobe then you might have noticed that I didn’t like the first ‘Angry Birds’ very much, it was repetitive, bland and mind-fuckingly infuriating in it’s inconsistency. I thought it was bad enough that I had to play it on an Apple product encompassing the same values, the fact that people were foaming over it like fatties at the sight of a Krispy Kreme just added to my frustrations. Yet along comes Angry Birds Space, boasting new game play mechanics, a new bird and squirting hype out of every possible extremity leaving a sticky mess on the carpet in it’s wake. Now, when I hear the term “new game play mechanics” I get a little too happy in the pants, I thought green ‘pigs’ were flying and that there was a possibility that I could like Angry Birds Space so I took a deep breath, sat up straight and put my ‘Objective’ review hat on. Yet no amount of objectivity or hat swagger will convince me that this is a worthy sequel, the issues that assaulted the first one in a back alley are still here; the only difference is the ‘Space’ aspect of the game almost gets off on the fact that it does little to mask the issues of it’s predecessor. Angry Birds Space is that annoying cretin of a next door neighbour you had as a kid who didn’t care if they were pissing you off as long as you gave the bastard attention.
As Yahtzee mentioned in his review of ‘Peggle‘ the biggest appeal of the casual game is a simple, addictive formula that one can pick up in a matter of seconds and continue playing for days until they brush the spiderwebs off their feet and emerge from their place of residence only to find that they’ve been pronounced legally dead. In regards to Angry Brids Space, the issue stopping the game from achieving the same soul-sucking imersion that most casual games master is a problem that was rampant in the series’ original installment, that of frustrating inconsistency. I found that my first experiences with Angry Birds Space could be summarized simply by a blank stare and a slightly twitching upper lip, a bird launched perfectly can get a 1 Star result one time and a 3 Star the very next time without changing the angle or power of the shot at all. It’s like the game realized that I was one black-eyed grinning pig away from throwing my iPad from the side of a speeding train, so it gave me 3 Stars out of pity more so than skill. The games difficulty curve seemed to have been mapped on a roller coaster as I often found myself regularly requiring walk-throughs from about 1-14 onwards, Dark Souls needs a walk-through, The Witcher needs a walk-through; a game centred in a market of simplistic formulas should not require a guide on how to pull back a slingshot.
Sure on the other hand there’s positives too, the new character design is refreshing, soundtrack is solid and there is a great sense of satisfaction when you see your launched bird curve perfectly around the atmosphere of a planet before hitting the pig’s structure for a 3 star score, but these moments soon lose their charm when you find yourself repeating the same level over and over again to no avail. In my date with Angry Birds these bushy eyebrows could have used some fine tuning but overall weren’t a deal breaker for me. However as Angry Birds got up to go to the bathroom what really made me run for the hills was the slight bulge of zero gravity levels I glimpsed in between ‘her’ thighs. Zero gravity levels? What the shit were they thinking!? Did the Colombian Janitor at Rovio run out of Lemon Pledge and just decide to screw with the coding for Space or something? This is a game based ENTIRELY on physics puzzles! WHY WOULD YOU REMOVE GRAVITY YOU STUPID FUCKS? In all seriousness this is a monumentally stupid addition to the game because predicting the flight path of small projectiles in space without a degree in Elemental Chaos Theory is the equivalent of trying to pinpoint the return of Christ.
Despite attempting to remove the only constant in the game, gravity, Rovio have attempted to compensate their monumental ‘cock’ up (See what I did there?) with the addition of a new bird, the ‘Ice Bird’, only problem is it doesn’t really do anything. Presumably it’s ability is to weaken structures by freezing them allowing for an easier break, but in most of the instances it’s used a Red Bird could simply smash through the structure normally with roughly the same effect. The way I play Angry Birds is, like most people to complete the level with the minimum amount of shots in order to seductively lather myself in those juicy 10,000 point bonuses coming from not wasting your ammo. The Ice Bird however is essentially a waste of 10,000 points because it’s always the first bird on the sling forcing me to use the stupid little twat, if it had more of an impact on the level I could understand it’s addition to the game but unlike the other birds it doesn’t feel like a necessity to complete the level efficiently.
IN
CON
COO
SHUN
I know this is a lot of bitching and moaning for $2.99 but with the standard of games now on the App store has gotten to the point where if you have to pay for it, it better be amazing. I understand it’s the same price as a cup of coffee but when I order a cappuccino but a cappuccino is consistent all the way through, unlike Angry Birds Space it doesn’t taste like God’s vagina one moment and Satan’s the next. This game would have made an excellent update for the original game but as a full release it just feels padded out and samey. Aspects like choosing your arsenal for a level and upgrading your birds with new abilities for a steady increase in consistent challenge would make this series so much more enjoyable and deep but unfortunately Rovio haven’t seemed to capitalise on their unprecedented amounts of income and the result is an experience all too familiar. I spent 3 hours with this game trying so hard to like it, I wanted to be blinded by mediocrity and mindlessly kneel with the masses and praise the wonder that is Angry Birds but I couldn’t. A series is supposed to maintain the core aspects of it’s original instalment while simultaneously absolving the formers issues while adding new features that complement the existing game play in order to give it the perfect balance of familiarity and new experience. Angry Birds Space did all too well to maintain the core aspects of it’s ancestor but failed to evolve, and failed to impress. If you are a huge fan of the original Angry Birds, you’ll definitely get a kick out of the new levels, but I can’t see Angry Birds Space doing much to expand the series’ fanbase.
Current Average Review Score: 84/100
My Score: 6/10
See For Yourselves:
System Update: March 26th – April 1st
Pretty slow week in the world of video game news but we have some interesting news regarding all three of the next generation consoles, so I am going to string that shit out longer than a fight in Dragon Ball Z just so I can fill out this weeks System Update.
THIS WEEKS NOOZ.
Wii U Has A Rumored Release Date… Finally.
After being unnaturally quiet after their announcement of the Wii U console at E3, (I say unnatural because Nintendo still believe that they are God’s gift to gaming because they own the rights to Mario and never cease to shut up about how ‘great’ they are) the website WiiUDaily claim to have been sent an e-Mail from a Japanese retailer hinting at the next gen consoles release date. According to the e-Mail, Nintendo’s upcoming console will be hitting the shelves of North America on the 18th November, with the Japanese release posted a week after that. Provided that the Wii launched on November 19th, 6 years prior this date has quite a bit of credibility which is great, but unfortunately does not make up for the console’s lack thereof. Regardless of the press releases stating the future console is better than the PS3 and Xbox respectively, I for one will not believe it until I see it, because I for one cannot see how trying to combine a Wii with an iPad can be anything less catastrophic than a rip in the fabric of space time. Nevertheless, follow JayRated on Twitter for the validation of this rumor.
Sony Confident That They Will Beat Microsoft At The Post.
A recent article on VG247 has described that like a chronic premature ejaculator, Sony are “confident” they’ll release first… Their console that is! Not much else has been announced about ‘Orbis’ itself apart from a series of contradicting rumours about the consoles Cell processor or Direct X drive to the console being based on AMD hardware. All eyes will be on Sony at E3 this year to see whether they attempt to beat Microsoft in their announcement as well as the proposed Christmas 2013 release. However the one thing that has been confirmed is that the PS Vita will work with the PS4 in the same way that the Wii U’s controller works with the Wii U; and we all know if anyone can do an idea better than Nintendo, it’s practically anyone other than Nintendo.
720 Flying The Anti-Piracy Flag… Like A Pirate.
Being the hub for console news this week, another VG247 article details several features rumoured to be contained in Microsoft’s ‘Project Durango’, more commonly known as the Xbox 720. The console is rumoured to contain two GPUs, “four or six” cores, one dedicated entirely to the inbuilt ‘Kinect 2.0’ and one for the OS, and of course Microsoft have decided to bite the bullet and added a Blu Ray player. More interestingly however, the rumors also state that the console will require a constant internet connection in order to play any form of content. These rumours strengthen those circulating earlier in the week that suggested Microsoft weren’t allowing Pre-Owned games to be played on consoles, and although still disappointing, it’s a whole lot better than shipping the console without a disc drive at all. Like the PS4, Xbox are pushing for a Christmas 2013 release. However, they have confirmed no major announcements will be revealed this year.
Game Of Thrones Game Dated And Trailered!
The popular tits and beheadings showcase known to the world as ‘Game Of Thrones’ has taken the world by storm for several pairs of obvious bouncing reasons. The book series ‘Song Of Fire And Ice’ by George R.R. Martin gave birth to the award winning HBO series and now that series has given birth to a game adaptation. An article on ScienceFiction depicts the games latest trailer ‘This Is War‘ as well as information of the RPG’s special edition and proclamation that the game will release internationally on May 15th. The game centres around 2 members of Robert’s Rebellion who will skip merrily through the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros beating baddies, foiling plots and saving the Kingdom from the dastardly Team Rocket… Wait. So, what do you think? Will Cyanide Studios RPG bear it’s breasts to win the hearts and minds of the medieval fantasy’s fan base? Or will it suffer a brutal beheading from critics and players alike? All will be revealed in 6 weeks time.
I don’t think it’d be very professional of me to try and squeeze out another ‘News’ story provided I was pushing hard enough to get 4 done, so I’ll leave it at that for this weeks System Update. As always, follow me on Twitter for more regular news updates and for my full review of ‘Angry Birds: Space’ which will be up later this week. Keep it locked on to Respawn In 10!
Special Feature: JayRated’s Top 10 Games Of All Time
Like a baby pulled kicking and screaming from its mother’s womb, I am fairly new to online video game journalism. However, like the wizened doctor clutching the aforementioned new release human by the ankles before slapping purposefully on the behind, I have been in the acclaimed profession of gaming for quite some time given my age.
Despite the addition of an ‘About Me’ post on my page, I thought there’d be no better way to show who I am as a gamer than to go through my top 10 video games/video game series’ of all time. Before you start furiously mashing away on your sweaty keyboards telling me how wrong I am I’d like to add a disclaimer before I start rattling off game titles: I am not saying these games are the greatest ever made. I am saying that out of all the games I’ve played, these are the ones I’ve most enjoyed. To those who still find issue with my opinion I wish you nothing more than to be locked in the room with nothing but a revolver and a copy of CSI Fatal Conspiracy. No matter what option you choose, the end result will be someone investigating a bland, poorly rendered crime scene. The only difference between the two being, suicide is quick, clean and there’s no terrible voice acting whereas CSI is the gaming equivalent of a three fingered prostate exam.
Forgive my tangent but as always it appears that prostate exams don’t just leave you walking sideways but thinking in the same direction. Nevertheless, before I move on to my top 10 there are a few ‘Honourable Mentions’ that I would like to give to games that didn’t make the final cut but deserve recognition regardless. They are the consolation prizes, the people’s choice, the awards at soccer presentation days that are presented to the Under 8’s team that didn’t win. These are the games I’ve played that although they may not win a night with Miranda Kerr, still deserve a happy ending in the back of a Chinese Massage parlour.
Acknowledgements:
- Best Controls – Crysis
- Best Story – Uncharted
- Best Script – Portal
- Best Level/Enemy Design – Shadow Of The Colossus
- Best Character Customization – World Of Warcraft
- Best Mix Soundtrack – Burnout
- Best Original Soundtrack – Final Fantasy
- Best Imersion/HUD – Dead Space
- Best Art Style – Ultimate Spiderman
I say ‘Best’ in the context of ‘best for a game not in my top 10’. But now, what you’ve all been scrolling down for!.. The Top 10:
10 – Need For Speed: Underground
If you know what the term ‘NOS’ is indicative of and you have a pair of testicles attached to your undercarridge then it’s safe to assume that at some point of your life you have played the Need For Speed: Underground series. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away when Need For Speed games lasted longer than 20 hours, there was a magical land where games such as Underground frollicked in meadows of neons, spinners and more vinyl than a 60’s record shop. Underground 1 and 2 were the love letter addressed to the hearts of any human being who ever exclaimed ‘VROOM!’ as they forced a Hot Wheels car across any surface that didn’t move or yell at them for doing so. With fast cars, hot chicks and not a second thought about a coherent storyline, Need For Speed: Underground not only helped Little Jon’s popularity move from the window to the wall but also caused it’s audience to become the drifting, street racing ‘hoons’ that appear on A Current Affair every 30 seconds. Well done Need For Speed: Underground. You showed the world that drag racing on a main road was as easy as pressing a single button to change lanes, and if you sneezed on a car with enough force it’d slide at 80 degrees.
9 – Dragon Quest: Journey Of The Cursed King
Excuse me for a moment, I have to cover myself in Hello Kitty and call everything in sight ‘Kawaii’ because I’m about to talk about Dragon Quest, the turn based, open world, Anime-RPG which is more Japanese than Pokemon dry humping a plate of sushi. Dragon Quest bases itself in a wonderful cartoon world with fantastic music and environments, diverse enemies and where every female NPC has the same bust as Kim Kardashian. I know this sounds like every single game to come out of Japan but Dragon Quest had a certain charm about it, it was unbelieveably colourful; which is a rarity in the games of today which are developed on computers capable only of processing the colours light brown, dark brown and gunmetal grey. It was basically Pokemon if Pokemon hopped in a blender with Final Fantasy, which is great, as it was a showcase of Japan’s skill as a game developer. The only thing that let it down was that most of the character’s hair styles were… Well… Normal. I know it’s hard to play a JRPG without every second character looking like they’ve been struck by lighting at a fashion show but it’s not a deal breaker where Dragon Quest is concerned.
8 – Gears Of War
Yes I am aware of the huge irony that Gears Of War ranks above a game that I exalted because of it’s colour scheme but in that kind of silly way, I do love Gears Of War. Sure the Gears wear more metal on thier bodies than Public Enemy do around their necks, and have arms the size of normal people, with chins so rigid they could double in size and scale for a mountain range. But I found myself oddly connected to these monstrous human beings. The moving moment in Gears Of War 3 was only the second time in my video gaming experience, that I have ever gotten choked up by a character’s death. (I really liked Ghost from Modern Warfare 2, it’s not a crime.) If you’re not some sort of slug, and you are capable of playing the Gears Of War series and can take it with more salt needed to defrost the Arctic circle, then there truly is a fantastic series to find beneath the throbbing temples and gravely voices.
7 – Jak And Daxter
I don’t think a series has been able to transition from an adventure platformer to an open world action game better than Jak And Daxter. Jak 2: Renegade is still my greatest love within the series. Your actions as Jak actually had impact to the world he inhabits. Which is a shining quality these days when campaigns are nothing but a 4 hour showcase of the Frostbite 2 engine… I mean, what? Yet another resounding plus about the series that has been lost on the games of today is it’s replayability. I didn’t just go back in Jak 2 to find all the Precursors or any of that completionist bullshit. I did it for fun. I finished Jak 2 like 6 times, and it was awesome. Every! Single! Time!
Still my favourite open world game to date. Unlike the Twilight series every aspect of the Jak And Daxter story seems to have reason, meaning and impact to the larger plot.
6 – Ratchet And Clank
The only reason I rank Ratchet and Clank higher than Jak and Daxter is because this series’ spin off (Ratchet Gladiator) shat all over Jak and Daxters (Jak X) with a furious and watery ferocity. The Ratchet and Clank games gave me everything I wanted in a game. It captured a younger, light hearted setting. It was like my Call Of Duty before I lost my innocence and played Grand Theft Auto. It had upgradeable weapons and armour that you can actually SEE the changes made. Platforming, a decent story and humorous characters. It definitely is a classic that I don’t think has been recreated with the same level of passion. Most similar games have too much of one aspect in R&C and not enough of the other. I can’t really crack a lot of jokes about my beloved Ratchet and Clank. I guess 10 year old me had the comedic equivalent of a Morning Show Tv host, but it doesn’t matter. While everyone else played soccer, sang, dance and were generally merry. I was inside swinging my Omni-Wrench like there was no tomorrow… No, that wasn’t a euphamism.
5 – Batman
Both Arkham Asylum and Arkham City will forever be my benchmark for melee combat from now until the end of time. Probably enhanced by the fact that you’re the Goddamn Batman! The combat system used in Rocksteady’s Batman series is almost certainly the most self satisfaction one can have with their pants on. Capturing the voice talent of actors such as Kevin Conroy, Cristopher Walken and Mark. Fucking. Hamill. The Arkham series is to fans of comics and games, what brushed metal is to an Apple enthusiast – a mind blowing sensory overload. Batman: Arkham Asylum and Batman: Arkham City are a flawless balance of combat, stealth, story and Batman. Which are essentially 4 vital elements needed to make an excellent game. In addition to that. Getting a 50x or more combo on hard or New Game Plus is the skill and awesome equivalent of landing a threesome at a funeral. However, unlike scoring a threesome at a funeral, the 50x combo is something I’ll undoubtedly achieve in this lifetime.
4 – Assassin’s Creed
Leaping through the air, artsy clothing and underlying implications of homosexuality; yep, if you’re a fan of the Moscow ballet, Assassin’s Creed has it all. I’ll admit that in the last 2 installments of the series, Ubisoft replaced Ezio’s pupils with dollar signs, but the overarching storyline is essentially a combination of my favourite movies and time periods. I’m a sucker for interesting ‘history’ and the Assassin’s Creed series has that perfect blend of fact, fiction and sexual tension that can only be resolved with a quick time event. The combat is fluent, the plot is beautifully intergrated, the design is magnificent and it’s the only open world game that actually feels that a major city isn’t populated by 8 people with the same voice, and have as much to say as Robert Pattinson. All in all, with the exception of it being a money making machine of late, Assassin’s Creed has a great bit of everything. Not bad for a game starting out as a setting for an engine test.
3 – Splinter Cell
Snapping necks, chashing cheques, flashy tech and… Shadows. The first time I played Splinter Cell I didn’t even know how to jump. I was about 9 years old and it was my first attempt at a 3rd person shooter. I hated the game because it wasn’t the something I could finish in an hour, so my 9 year old self tossed it aside like it was an empty Rollups wrapper. Yet a couple of years later, like a stalker sitting patiently outside my open window, the dulcet tones of Michael Ironside’s voice drizzled like honey into the forefront of my mind and posessed me to play it again. Splinter Cell is a series of games that truly makes you feel like you’re Sam Fisher. The spy, one of the most badass protagonists in video gaming, manages to make me feel like someone who has more than an ouce of muscle on my body, which is a feat in itself. Another tribute to the Splinter Cell series is that each subsequent installment was as good or better than the last, and for a series spanning 10 years with multiple sequels, is more incredible than the DOW Jones finishing strong in a sellers market! (I felt the need to add some high-brow humour after delivering more sexual innuendos than daytime T.V.)
2 – Call Of Duty
The Call Of Duty series was the greatest thing to happen to me since my voice dropped to a level low enough to not shatter glass, and seeing as my first experience with Call Of Duty’s multiplayer was around the same time my tone of voice finally lowered, it was part of unequivocally, the greatest point in my life to date. Call Of Duty: Finest Hour was clunky, but good. Call Of Duty 2 was hard, but great. Call Of Duty 3 was linear, but amazing. Call Of Duty 4 was the physical manifestation of Christ. A lot of people bag the Call Of Duty series for being unoriginal and repetitive and the gaming equivalent of a Michael Bay film, and it essentially is.Bbut the formula works, and works well. The Call Of Duty series is kind of like Linkin Park. Everyone bags it out but it’s still the guilty pleasure of most of the people who slam it… Except Call Of Duty continued to make money after it’s first 2 major installments.
1 – Star Wars: Battlefront
If I had the ability to provide sexual favours to Pandemic Studios while simultaneously playing Star Wars Battlefront, I would; however, as Pandemic Studios no longer exist, I’m fairly sure my desires border on necrophilia. The Star Wars Battlefront series, more specifically, the second installment of the triliogy, (SHUT UP I CAN DREAM) is the single item I would use to represent mankinds achievement as a species. It showcases the best things that humanity has ever made. Guns, explosions, light, flight, Wookies, jet packs and online multiplayer. These games were the pinnacle of the PlayStation 2’s Golden Age, and are the finest example of a Star Wars franchise that came out after Return Of The Jedi that miraculously wasn’t fucked up by George Lucas. There are rumors that Spark Interactive have picked up the series and are developing a Battlefront 3, but before you leave your computer for an excited scramble for moisturiser and a box of tissues may I remind you that Spark’s biggest claim to fame was Legendary… Yeah, exactly. In saying this I don’t know how anyone could possibly tarnish the 50ft Golden Penis that is Star Wars: Battlefront; But if they can actually pull off ruining it, I will go Splatterhouse on their asses.
So there you have it. My favourite games of all time. Stay tuned to Respawn In 10 for my next feature of a game that almost certainly will not even hold a candle to my top 10. That’s right, my Angry Birds Space review will be uploaded soon!
Preview: Assassin’s Creed III – Meet Connor And His Collector’s Editions
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a tendency to get sexually aroused at the sight of a good collector’s edition. Earlier today Gamesradar detailed the 3 special editions available for purchase with Assassin’s Creed III on the 31st of October. The editions range from the standard ‘Special Edition’, the middle range ‘Join Or Die Edition’, and the edition who’s preview is currently covered in my saliva, the ‘Freedom Edition’. The editions are detailed below.
Special Edition
- Exclusive Mission: A Dangerous Secret
- In-game DLC: Flintlock Pistol
Join Or Die Edition
- Collector Box
- Connor’s Medallion
- George Washington’s Notebook
- Singleplayer Mission: Ghost Of War
- Multiplayer Character: The Sharpshooter
Freedom Edition
- Steelbook Case – Designed by Alex Ross
- Collector Box
- Connor’s Figurine
- George Washington’s Notebook
- Singleplayer Mission: Ghost Of War
- Singleplayer Mission: Lost Myan Ruins
- Multiplayer Character: The Sharpshooter
Unfortunately the Freedom Edition does not include the Medalion from the Join Or Die edition of the game, unfortunately this means OCD, collector’s edition whore JayRated is, for the third time in a row buying 2 copies of an Assassin’s Creed game… Fucking Ubisoft.
These editions were announced on the same day the game’s latest trailer: ‘Meet Connor‘ was uploaded. The short, 40 second video doesn’t reveal much about the upcoming game, only showcases the information we already knew about the games protagonist in a more sleek video format. However it is without doubt building the hype for the Assassin’s Creed revolution. For all Assassin’s Creed II news and information have your eagle vision activated on Respawn In 10.
System Update: 19th March – 25th March
Hold on to your hats people because there’s more news here than… A place with lots of news… Shut up.
THIS WEEKS NOOZ
BREAKING NEWS – GTA5 Info Leaked!
A post recently uploaded and then removed from the Gamespot forums contains alleged details about Rockstar’s upcoming instalment to the Grand Theft Auto series. The writer, supposedly a former employee of Rockstar North details bits and pieces information about the next GTA in the series, some information one could hypothesise, such as multiplayer structure, wanted levels and a larger world. However, some of the information detailed is much more interesting including the characters name, who he is in the trailer, new ways he can interact with the world and the games release date. Of course, as the CSICON Article warns, this content should not be blindly accepted an proclaimed as truth, however it also examines the writing style of the post and likens it to the way a Marketing Executive would describe a game. Is it a fired employee? An intentional leak by Rockstar? Or do bitches just be trollin’? Only time will tell, but nonetheless, discuss the possibilities in the comment section below.
(P.S. For slightly less interesting but 100% true information about ‘Crews’ from Max Payne 3 crossing over to GTA 5, and how it all works, check the OXM article here)
GAME Over…
Earlier this week the UK retail behemoth GAME we’re struggling to make a £180 million payment deadlined for the end of the week; however a few days after this information had been publicised, Eurogamer announced that on the 21st March, GAME UK pulled out of the stock exchange and only a few hours after that confirmed they had intention to appoint an administrator. At this point in time various buyers are registering interest for different parts of GAME’s international empire, the most notable being GameStop looking into branching into the UK, and WalMart trying to get their foot in the door in Australia. Of course all these are all only potential buyers, however closure of any of the retail giant’s branches are very unlikely to close down any time soon.
The Hunger Game!
My impressions of the media regarding the latest teenage craze ‘The Hunger Games’ has been similar to that of the beggars in Assassin’s Creed, as soon as it appears its all up in your face all the time and you really want to kill it but you can’t because then you’ll desynchronise… Ok, maybe not entirely like the beggars in Assassin’s Creed, but the popularity of The Hunger Games is still bothering me; and now that The Hunger Games: Girl On Fire has released in the app store and franchise has entered my domain, I’m one step off making out with a revolver. An article posted on ShackNews detailed a 16-bit Side-scrolling Platformer called ‘The Hunger Games: Girl On Fire’ launching in the Apple App store in time with the movies release. The game plays similar to most games of the 90’s platforming boom, however in more recent releases in can be compared quite heavily to the Mirrors Edge release for the iPad. Regardless of the games overall quality (which is not that bad but I digress) it will no doubt make more money than One Direction dry humping Twilight but it keeps the mindless casual gaming masses occupied so huzzah!
Pandaria Beta Live.
World Of Warcraft’s expansion ‘Mist Of Pandaria’ started beta testing this week with Blizzard announcing:
“The World of Warcraft®: Mists of Pandaria™ beta test has begun! Over the course of the test, we’ll be inviting Annual Pass holders, press, fansites, friends and family, and opt-in beta testers to participate. This first phase of the beta focuses on the 1-10 starting experience for new Pandaren. High-level content as well as template characters will become available in future beta updates, but you can still copy over your own high level characters now if you’d like to test the new talent system.”
The fact that the beta is happening itself is not so much the most shocking news in the world, however the fact that it’s beta test comes before the Starcraft 2: ‘Heart Of The Swarm’ leads Blizzard’s fan base to believe that Blizzard’s final release slot of this year will be filled by Kung-Fu Pandas rather than Protoss Replicants. For all compilation of everything coming out of the Pandaira beta, Manaflask have everything you’re looking for right here.
My Upcoming Articles.
Seeing as I’m experiencing the equivalent of the GFC on a personal level, my next full retail review (The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition) is still a month off, and provided that my prowess on the local street corner isn’t as effective as I’d like, I can’t justify the cost of purchasing mediocre current releases. (Ninja Gaiden, Resident Evil etc…) As such, to bridge the gap between now and my next full review, I’ll do a few Special Features such as my top 10 games of all time, my most anticipated releases of 2012 and stuff like that. Also, I’ve decided to see whether my hatred of the ‘Angry Birds’ game extends to their latest zero gravity instalment, I will also be doing a mini-review of ‘Angry Birds: Space’ given it’s ridiculously unwarranted popularity and minor impact on my bank account so I may as well, I’m in a masochistic mood anyway. Keep your slingshots aimed at RespawnIn10.com for my review later this week.
As always for more regular hits of news follow my Twitter and for all your light hearted gaming information hide behind the bushes and stalk Respawn In 10!
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